Be More Selfish with Yourself

How A Recovering People Pleaser Can Learn To Please Herself

I keep getting the same message from multiple people lately, including my own voice and business coach: “Jessica, be more selfish”.

This feedback can make me feel frustrated at first. I put myself out there A LOT, as someone who runs her own business, posts on social media, co-hosts the podcast, Girlfriends of a Certain Age, and speaks and performs on stage. So my first reaction to this feedback is, “Aren’t I doing ENOUGH?

As I wrestle with this advice to be more selfish, I know it’s valid when I hear it from multiple people who I respect. So I move through my discomfort to take a closer look.

What does it mean to, “Be more selfish”?

Let’s look at the opposite message, “Be more selfless”. This message makes sense to me immediately; Does it make sense to you?

As a recovering people pleaser, being selfless is baked into my DNA. It’s easy to be fully present for others, show up for my friends, fam…