Do You Sound Just Like Your Mother?
Understand Your Vocal Influences
Dearest reader,
I looked up my post from one year ago today, and it’s a fun guide to explore your vocal influences. I thought I would upcycle it for you this week, to help you reflect on your communication style during some downtime. Enjoy!
Did you know that our family of origin has a lasting impact on how we speak today?
You likely emulated your family’s communication style as a child.
For instance, If you grew up in a quiet and reserved family, you likely communicated in a more subdued style:
“May I have the butter, please?”
If you grew up in a loud and chaotic environment, you needed to be louder and more animated to be heard:
“Pass me the butter already!”
Some women share with me that they feel doomed to sound like their relatives:
“I don’t want to sound just like my Mother!”
Let me reassure you that revisiting your early vocal influences will liberate you to choose how you want to sound moving forward.
Also, maybe your Mother’s voice is fantastic!
Understand your early vocal influences by exploring these questions:
What kind of environment did you grow up in? (quiet, loud, peaceful, chaotic)
Did you feel fully seen and heard as a child?
What language/s was spoken in your home?
What was your family’s general communication style? (Warm, open, reserved, strict, punitive)
Did you have a particular role in your family? (The caretaker, the baby, the wild child?”)
What were you praised for doing in your family of origin? (Being quiet, speaking your mind, being thoughtful)
What were you admonished for doing in your family of origin? (Being loud, being outspoken, being shy, being sensitive)
What do you LOVE about your early vocal influences?
What, if anything, would you like to change now about your voice? Why?
What Are Your Accent and Dialect Influences?
Accents and dialects are integral to our identities, but some women have experienced accent bias in the workplace.
Accent discrimination is illegal in many places, but it remains widespread.
We are slowly starting to have more diverse vocal representation in our society.
Take Broadcast Journalist Ayesha Rascoe of NPR. She is a dynamic reporter who hosts The Weekend Edition and speaks with a distinct southern accent.
Comedian Ali Wong embraces her Asian-American heritage and showcases different dialects in her comedy specials.
Understand your accent and dialect influences:
Where did you grow up, and what accent/s did/do you have?
How do you feel about your accent today?
Have you ever received feedback about your accent? How did this feedback make you feel?
Whose accent do you LOVE?
What do you LOVE about your accent and dialect?
What, if anything, would you like to change now about your accent? Why?
Growing up, your environment influences your communication style.
As a woman, you now have the power to reclaim specific vocal traits once you understand your early influences.
You can begin to love your voice.
Stay Calm & Speak On,
Jessica
P.S. This excerpt is from my workbook, The Love Your Voice Workbook for Women: How to Reclaim Your Voice. You can buy your copy for just $10 HERE.
I used to answer the phone at home as a teenager, and most people thought I was my mom!
This is fun to think about. I didn't know I came from such a subdued family until my husband came along and revealed it to me. Thanks for this wisdom!