How to prepare before you say the hard thing
From Silence to Strength: A 4-Week Guide to Saying What Needs to Be Said.
Last week, we asked: Do I need to have this difficult conversation?
This week, we prepare for the discussion with purpose, compassion, and strategy.
We may not be able to control the conversation's outcome, but we can prepare to communicate our hopes and boundaries.
Why Preparation Is Power
When women speak up, we overcome decades of conditioning that tells us to stay quiet and deal with it.
Preparing helps us interrupt that story: Preparing anchors us in our truth.
This week, I want you to clarify why you want to speak up so that when the moment comes, you feel ready.
Try This:
Take 5 to 10 minutes to reflect on these three prep questions in my guide, "From Silence to Strength," available for download to my Love Your Voice Paid Subscribers:
What is the core message I want to communicate?
What emotion might I feel during the conversation—and how will I support myself?
What outcome would feel successful, even if it's not perfect?
Professional Mediator Adar Cohen explains that we should first strive for understanding:
"... the most realistic outcome, especially at the beginning, is to focus on reaching an understanding.”
🖊️ Writing Prompt of the Week:
What do you hope to gain from a difficult conversation you’ve been avoiding?
Write from the heart. You don’t have to share it with anyone, but naming your truth is the first step.
📅 Don’t Forget:
Join me live on May 22 at Noon PST for a supportive workshop where we’ll practice this process together. If you’re dealing with workplace dynamics, family boundaries, or personal relationships, you'll get my guidance and support.
🎁 For Paid Subscribers:
Download the workbook From Silence to Strength: A Woman’s Guide to Setting Boundaries and Speaking Your Truth, which is available now for paid members of the Love Your Voice Community.
Here is a Sneak Peek of the guide:
Introduction: You Can Assert Yourself And Not Be A Bitch
As a recovering "Good Girl" myself, I understand how uncomfortable it can be to have a difficult conversation. Most of us don’t want to make waves; we may avoid conflict and don’t want to be labeled unlikable or worse.
Over time, minimizing our needs can create serious issues, including resentment, distance, and a lack of self-confidence. We may recognize that staying quiet is not working, but sharing our needs can feel scary, frustrating, and unnatural.
So, how do you communicate what you need when you are trained to prioritize everyone else's needs?
The first step is understanding what you need BEFORE a difficult talk. This guide will help you clarify your needs and your limits.
I have seen my clients grow more comfortable asking for what they want and need. Learning these skills allows women to take a "pause" and ask themselves, "What do I need right now?"
Being honest with the people in our lives is the kindest thing we can do for them, so they know where we stand.
The more you "FLEX" your communication muscle, the stronger you will become. The more you use your voice, the easier it will become to speak your truth.
-From Women Can Say Hard Things, Silence to Strength: A Woman’s Guide to Setting Boundaries and Speaking Your Truth by Jessica Neighbor